Rupert Everett must be a publicist’s nightmare, says Deborah Ross in The Times. Now 65, in his 2004 memoir, Red Carpets and Other Banana Skins, the actor claimed “Piers Morgan is hung like a budgie”, Julia Roberts smells “vaguely of sweat”, and that Madonna, who he described as a “a whiny old barmaid”, hasn’t spoken to him since. He says Sharon Osbourne ”looks insane” after botox. And he claims he was put off weight-loss drugs after seeing what they did to Robbie Williams.